You wanting anything from the shops?

poem | set in Scotland

Gerry’s cheque won’t be in for another week—its aw totally fucked man

defo that Jobbie twat Colin at the centres fault. Nicola thinks

her little one has the norovirus, been going around day-care

like a rumour. Speaking of gossip, Johnny and Sue are back together.

He’s promised not to drink when the Old Firm are playing,

we’ll know if he kept his word, next time we see her.

Did you hear about little Annie overdosing on skag?

that one’s always been obsessed with Trainspotting.

They took her oot the housing scheme, put her in the mental hoose.

What those silly cu*** at the chippie been up to lately?

fish batter tastes like soggy cardboard, it’s no acceptable man.

Tommy’s going out tonight, on the lash before sentencing,

pri** will probably get himself an extra year.

You wanting anything from the shops?

Good, got sod all money to buy nuttin, any-hoo.